Dear family — that is how the letters on this page began for many years, and the sentiment has not changed: bringing a new person into your children's lives deserves care, patience, and a process. What follows is the same advice experienced placement counselors gave thousands of families, updated for today and organized so you can work through it one weekend at a time.
Step 1: Define the job before you meet anyone
The single most common hiring mistake is interviewing candidates before the job itself is clear. Sit down as a household and write a one-page job description covering:
- Schedule — days, hours, and how much flexibility you genuinely need (be honest about late meetings and travel).
- Duties — childcare always; but is there children's laundry? Meal prep? School pickup? Light housekeeping? Write down exactly where the job ends.
- Live-in or live-out — each has real trade-offs for privacy, cost, and flexibility. Our live-in vs. live-out guide covers them in depth.
- Qualifications — years of experience, education, CPR/First Aid certification, a clean driving record if the job involves driving your children.
- Compensation — research the going rate in your area and set a range you can sustain, including taxes. See the pay & tax FAQ.
If you have not decided whether in-home care is right for you at all, pause here and read nanny care vs. day care and defining your family's childcare needs first.
Step 2: Find candidates
Families today find nannies through several channels, each with different amounts of built-in screening:
- Word of mouth — still the gold standard. A nanny finishing with a family you know comes with years of observable history.
- Placement agencies — agencies recruit, pre-screen, and present a short list. You pay for that work, so understand how agencies operate and what they charge before signing.
- Online job boards and local parent groups — the widest reach and the least screening. Everything in Steps 3-5 becomes your job.
- Au pair programs — a cultural-exchange option regulated by the U.S. Department of State; see the official J-1 au pair program for how it differs from employing a nanny.
Step 3: Interview — twice
Plan on a short phone screen first, then a longer in-person conversation for your top two or three candidates. Good interviews are structured: the same core questions for every candidate, with room to follow the conversation. We keep a full question bank in our interviewing and evaluating guide, including scenario questions ("the baby is crying and the toddler just fell — walk me through it") that reveal far more than résumé questions ever will.
Always include a paid working interview or trial day before the final offer. Watching a candidate get down on the floor and play — or not — tells you things no reference can.
Step 4: Verify everything
Trust is built on verification. Before any offer:
- Childcare references — speak with at least two previous childcare employers by phone. Ask about reliability, judgment, and why the position ended.
- Academic and character references — for newer caregivers with shorter work histories.
- Background check — a multi-state criminal record search and sex-offender registry check through a reputable consumer reporting agency, with the candidate's written consent as required by the Fair Credit Reporting Act.
- Driving record — order a motor vehicle report if the nanny will drive your children anywhere, ever.
- Certifications — ask to see current CPR and First Aid cards; they expire every two years.
A note on judgment: screening tools reduce risk; they do not replace your instincts. If something feels off after a glowing background check, keep looking. There is always another candidate.
Step 5: Make the offer in writing
A verbal "you're hired!" feels warm, but the relationships that last are the ones that start with a written work agreement: schedule, pay, overtime, duties, sick days, vacation, house rules, confidentiality, and how either side can end the arrangement gracefully. Our work agreement guide walks through every section with sample language.
Remember that hiring a nanny makes you a household employer in the eyes of the IRS. Withholding, the so-called "nanny tax," and year-end forms are all manageable — IRS Publication 926 is the authoritative reference, and our pay & tax FAQ translates it into plain English.
Step 6: Set the relationship up to succeed
The first month matters more than the first interview. Plan a paid transition week with you at home; write down routines, allergies, and emergency contacts; agree on how you'll communicate daily (a shared notebook or app works well); and schedule a 30-day check-in conversation. Caregivers stay where they feel respected as professionals — which is, not coincidentally, exactly the kind of person you want around your children. The American Academy of Pediatrics' HealthyChildren.org has excellent guidance on easing children through caregiver transitions.
How long does all this take?
From job description to first day, most families should budget four to eight weeks. It can move faster with an agency shortlist or a word-of-mouth candidate, and slower in high-demand seasons (late summer, after the holidays). Starting your search before you urgently need care is the single best gift you can give yourself.